Coping With an Autism Meltdown

We read so many news articles about autistic children having a meltdown in school and ending up shackled by police and taken to the station. Often beleaguered family members at home call for help, not knowing the respondents could cause more harm than good. How then should one cope with an autistic meltdown?

World renowned expert Dr. Tony Attwood has some clear advice. Individuals with autism have a catastrophic reaction when overly stressed, anxious or frustrated. If the meltdown is externalized, intense despair manifests as anger, with destruction of property or aggression towards someone. When the meltdown is internalized, there is extreme self-hatred and blame, going so far as to have suicidal thoughts or actions, in effect attacking one’s self. What needs to happen is a restoration of reasonable thought and behavior so that the individual can regain self-control. Here are some guidelines:

• Remain calm and only talk about what the person can do to regain control over their volatile emotions. Autism lecturer Sue Larkey came up with the analogy of a navigational GPS system in a car. The automated voice never criticizes or judges the driver for being lost, but simply and calmly explains how to rectify the situation. Focus on what to do moving forward, not the unacceptable behavior.

• Don’t ask about the cause of the meltdown. The autistic individual needs to move through and beyond their emotions, not return to the cause and perseverate about it. They are not in a position to articulate their feelings and provide a coherent and sequential explanation of what bothers them, so don’t ask that of them.

• Focus primarily upon restoring emotional control. Invoking consequences will only inflame the situation.

• Ask if they would like a hug before entering their personal space.

• Acknowledge and validate their level of distress and explain that the intense feelings will eventually pass.

• Shifting their attention to a special interest frequently serves as an ‘off switch’ and facilitates the return of self control.

The major takeaway from Dr. Attwood’s suggestions is the change from a crime and punishment model, to that of rescuing of a child in the dark woods of their own emotions. We are so ingrained culturally with the notion of accepting consequences for our actions that it’s hard to shift in dealing with autism.

So often, autistic children are punished for the symptoms of their disorder when a calm, non-judgmental course of action saves the day. This reminds me of when my twin sons with autism were three-years-old. One of them was having a spectacular meltdown and his brother walked over and handed him a toy.

“Hand him a toy, mom,” he instructed.

Out of the mouths of babes…